The Universal Hypnotherapy Method

No matter how experienced, every hypnotist will eventually find themselves in a situation where they don’t know what to do. A client comes in with a problem that feels unfamiliar, complex, or overwhelming. The instinct might be to jump in with a familiar technique or try to "fix" the issue right away.

But here’s the truth: The best hypnotists don’t assume—they ask.

Instead of trying to figure out the perfect intervention right away, start with a simple yet powerful question:

“What do you want to have happen?”

This question is the key to unlocking a truly client-centered approach to hypnotherapy. It ensures that the work is focused on what matters most to the person in front of you rather than what you think they need.

Why Asking Changes Everything

One of the biggest mistakes a hypnotist can make is projecting their assumptions onto the client’s experience.

For example, someone comes in with chronic pain. It’s easy to assume that their main goal is pain relief. That seems obvious, right? But what if pain reduction isn’t their top priority? What if their biggest concern is that they can’t sleep at night? Or that they’re worried about how their pain is affecting their family?

By directly asking the client what they want, the hypnotist gets to the heart of the issue.

This is where the principle of Clean Language comes in—a method that removes unintentional bias from communication. Instead of leading the client toward a particular answer, clean language questions allow the client to fully express their own experience and desires. This approach ensures that the hypnotist is working with the client’s model of the world rather than imposing their own.

To learn more about Clean Language and how to use it in hypnotherapy, click here.

A Parenting Lesson: Why Asking Works in Any Situation

This principle isn’t limited to hypnosis—it’s a universal truth about human communication. A great example comes from parenting.

Imagine a parent dealing with a crying toddler. The child is upset, but the parent doesn’t know why. They could guess—maybe the child is hungry, tired, or frustrated. But instead of guessing, the simplest and most effective solution is to ask:

“What do you want?”

Now, a toddler might not always have the words to answer, but they can still show what they need. Maybe they point to the cupboard because they want their sippy cup. Maybe they take the parent’s hand and lead them to their favorite toy.

The same logic applies to hypnosis. Instead of making assumptions about what a client needs, ask them. Even if they can’t articulate an answer right away, the process of exploring the question can bring clarity and insight.

Case Study: Helping a Friend with a Terminal Diagnosis

Asking clarifying questions is especially important when dealing with emotionally difficult situations.

One of our students in the Mike Mandel Hypnosis Academy recently asked a tough question: His friend had just received horrific news about his health. It was a terminal diagnosis, and the hypnotist wanted to help. But how?

The common instinct in such cases is to focus on pain relief or relaxation. But what if that’s not the real concern? Instead of jumping to conclusions, the best approach is to ask them what they actually want.

Maybe their biggest fear isn’t the pain but the uncertainty of how their family will cope. Maybe they want to ensure that their children have strong, positive memories to hold onto. This is where hypnosis can be truly transformational. Instead of just easing discomfort, it can be used to reinforce feelings of peace, connection, and meaning.

British hypnotherapist Garry Coles is one of the world’s leading authorities on using hypnosis for cancer patients and their families. When we asked him how he determines the best approach in these situations, his answer was simple:

“Ask the person.”

This applies not only to the person with the diagnosis but also to their family members. Some may want pain relief, while others may want to strengthen positive memories or find comfort in the idea that their loved one is at peace. The best hypnosis work happens when the real needs of the individual are understood and addressed.

Applications for Hypnotherapists

For hypnotherapists, this simple principle can completely transform client sessions. No matter what issue a client presents, start by asking:

• “What do you want to have happen?”
• “What is most important to you right now?”
• “What would you like to change?”

From there, hypnosis techniques can be tailored to meet the client's needs. Whether it’s pain management, emotional healing, confidence-building, overcoming fears, or anything else, the session becomes far more effective when it aligns with what the client truly wants.

Hypnosis is at its most powerful when it is client-centered.

So the next time a client presents a challenge that feels overwhelming or unfamiliar, remember the universal solution: Ask them.

The client will tell you exactly what they need. Your job is to listen and use your skills to help them get there.