What if the secret to changing your life was as simple as asking yourself better questions?
The questions people ask themselves every day shape their reality. Most people don’t realize it, but the mind is always answering questions, whether those questions are helpful or not. If someone constantly asks, “Why do I always struggle?” the brain will search for answers that reinforce that belief. But when the question shifts to, “How can I improve my situation today?” the brain starts looking for solutions instead.
This is the power of empowering questions—they direct focus, engage the unconscious mind, and activate a part of the brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). With the right questions, the mind can be trained to notice opportunities, solutions, and pathways to success instead of staying stuck in old problems.
By the end of this blog post, you will understand how empowering questions work, how to create them, and how to use them daily to create real change.
What Is the Reticular Activating System (RAS)?
The human brain is constantly flooded with information—millions of bits per second from the environment, body sensations, and thoughts. But only a small fraction of that information reaches conscious awareness. This is because of the Reticular Activating System (RAS), the filtering system of your brain.
The RAS acts like a spotlight, deciding what gets noticed. A classic example of this is when someone learns a new word or buys a new car, and suddenly they start noticing it everywhere. The information was always there, but it wasn’t considered important until the brain was directed to focus on it.
This same mechanism applies to thoughts and beliefs. If someone constantly asks, “Why am I so unlucky?”, the RAS will find proof of bad luck everywhere. But if the question changes to, “How can I create new opportunities?”, the brain will start noticing possibilities that were previously ignored.
This is why intentional focus is so powerful. Whatever the mind is trained to look for, it will find.
To learn more about the Reticular Activating System (RAS), click here.
The Danger of Disempowering Questions
The unconscious mind is like a highly efficient search engine—it will always provide an answer, but it does not evaluate whether the question is helpful or harmful. It simply assumes the question is valid and searches for supporting evidence.
For example, if someone asks:
"Why am I always so bad at this?"
The brain will generate answers like:
- Because you have always struggled.
- Because you lack the right skills.
- Because you are just not good enough.
The question itself reinforces the problem instead of leading to a solution. This is why many people stay stuck in cycles of frustration. They keep asking questions that direct their focus toward failure and reinforce limiting beliefs.
Other common disempowering questions include:
- Why do I always procrastinate?
- Why does nothing ever go my way?
- Why am I so unlucky in relationships?
Each of these questions trains the mind to look for negative answers, keeping the person stuck in their current reality.
The solution? Ask better questions.
How Empowering Questions Shift Focus
Empowering questions work because they shift attention away from problems and direct it toward solutions, actions, and opportunities. Instead of reinforcing what is wrong, they train the brain to seek out what is possible.
The best empowering questions:
- Use "how" or "what" instead of "why".
- Assume success is already happening.
- Focus on what can be done now, rather than dwelling on the past.
Here is an example of how you can turn a disempowering question into an empowering one:
Disempowering Question:
"Why do I always fail at dieting?"
Empowering Question:
"How can I make healthy eating enjoyable and easy?"
The difference is subtle but life-changing. The first question locks focus on failure. The second question opens up possibilities for success.
So to obtain better results, start asking yourself different questions. For example:
- Instead of asking "Why do I hate exercising?", ask "How can I move my body today in a way that feels great?"
- Instead of asking "Why am I always stressed?", ask "What can I do today to feel calm and in control?"
By changing the question, the focus shifts toward action and improvement.
Creating Empowering Questions for Everyday Life
To start using empowering questions, choose an area of life that needs improvement. This could be:
- Health and Fitness
- Relationships
- Career and Finances
- Personal Growth
Then, create three to five empowering questions using "how" or "what" to direct the mind toward progress.
Questions like:
- How will I improve my health today?
- What steps can I take to strengthen my relationships this week?
- How will I create new financial opportunities?
Adding presuppositions makes these questions even more powerful. A presupposition assumes that the desired change is already happening.
For example:
- "As I improve my health today, what will I enjoy most about it?"
Presupposition: You are already improving your health today. - "As I become more confident, what positive changes will I notice?
Presupposition: You are already becoming more confident. - "As I discover new career opportunities, what exciting possibilities will I notice?"
Presupposition: You are already discovering new career opportunities.
This slight tweak signals to the brain that change is already in motion.
Turning Empowering Questions into a Daily Habit
Once empowering questions are created, they should be reinforced daily. The best way to do this is by making them highly visible and impossible to ignore. Here are some good ways to keep your empowering questions visible:
- Print them out and place them on a desk or wall.
- Use sticky notes on a bathroom mirror or refrigerator.
- Write them on a laminated sheet and stick it in the shower.
- Use a dry-erase marker to write them on a mirror.
Then, each morning:
- Read each question out loud.
- Pay attention to the first answer that comes to mind.
- Trust the unconscious mind—the first response is often the most insightful.
At first, the answers may feel repetitive, but over time, the brain will begin noticing new solutions, unexpected ideas, and surprising opportunities.
Trusting the Unconscious Mind
The unconscious mind holds all your memories: every book you’ve ever read, every movie you’ve ever watched, every conversation you’ve ever experienced, etc. When given a clear question, it sifts through this massive database to find the best answers.
Many people overthink their responses to empowering questions, which defeats their purpose. When you start analyzing or even doubting the response, you are engaging your conscious mind in the process, getting it in the way of the unconscious process that makes empowering questions work.
Instead, the key is to trust the first answer that comes to mind. NLP expert David Snyder describes it this way: “The unconscious mind speaks softly and speaks first.”
The first response to an empowering question may feel subtle or unexpected, but it is worth paying the most attention to, as it holds the most useful insights.
The Life-Changing Impact of Empowering Questions
For those who make empowering questions a daily habit, the results can be profound. These simple mental shifts can lead to:
- Increased motivation
- More confidence
- Better decision-making
- Stronger relationships
- Improved mental and physical health
The great thing is that it doesn’t take years of effort—just a few minutes each day of asking the right questions.
The brain is always listening—the questions you ask shape the answers it provides. By using empowering questions, life can be steered toward growth, success, and happiness.
Take a moment right now. Choose one area of your life, write down three to five empowering questions, and commit to asking them daily for the next week. Then, observe the shifts, insights, and unexpected solutions that begin to appear.
Better questions lead to better answers, and better answers lead to a better life.
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