Too much of either is a bad thing…
There’s a woman we know who lives in absolute chaos.
We visited her a couple of years ago at her modern, single-story home, and it looked as if a bomb had detonated in her living room, with the blast and carnage spreading into the dining area and kitchen.
Food wrappers, papers, and a general debris field were scattered everywhere, including Christmas cards on the coffee table—despite the fact that it was now summer.
And this was after she’d “been cleaning for hours” in anticipation of our visit.
I cannot live like that.
I don’t care how clean a place is; it also has to be tidy.
Now, admittedly, I didn’t always feel this way.
Back when I was a young man, I was content to live in endless mess—an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, and cat hair on all the furniture, courtesy of my enormous long-haired Himalayan Chinchilla cat, Charlie.
But when I met my wife, who is the epitome of organization, everything changed. Over the years, I began to appreciate the benefits of a clean and tidy environment, and now it’s the only way I can live.
To be overwhelmed by chaos is to have an unstructured and largely inefficient life.
But the opposite is also true.
If chaos represents personal anarchy, then order taken to extremes resembles rigid legalism and a stifling level of control.
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I remember visiting friends’ houses when I was very young, where the couches and chairs were permanently covered with heavy transparent plastic to “protect the fabric,” but wound up feeling like sitting on an inflatable swim toy.
These were the houses with chandeliers and thick carpets in rooms that were seldom used, all in the name of preserving their pristine appearance.
It’s difficult to decide which is worse: eruptive, brainless squalor or riding-crop rigidity.
As with most things in life, chaos and order exist on a continuum, somewhere between Oscar Madison and Felix Unger. Most of us are most comfortable in the middle ground, living neither too loosely nor wound up like a watch spring.
But we need both chaos and order to function well—just not too much of either.
In the absence of order, we tend to get little accomplished. The search through the dumpster of our life becomes too much trouble, details are missed, and plans stall, slowing progress in any area.
But with too much order, life feels like living in a military academy. Everything must be just right, and perfectionism rules the day, effectively shutting down creativity, novelty, and surprise.
So, which end of the chaos/order spectrum draws you the most?
If you’re drawn to the chaos end, you might consider bringing some incremental order to your life—what Dr. Jordan Peterson calls “making your bed.” Increased order leads to increased productivity and a more functional life. It’s a learned skill that can be added in increments.
On the other hand, if you lean toward the order end of the continuum, a bit of chaos can increase creativity and even bring more fun to your life, as you explore new activities and interests that aren’t currently on your radar.
To increase order, purge and tidy all aspects of your life.
To increase chaos, do something different and continue to grow.
That sweet spot in the middle is well worth aiming for.
- Mike Mandel
