For Those Who Get Triggered … We Will Trigger You – BSP (Ep 280)

Feeling triggered? Discover the power of being at cause—not at effect—in episode 280 of Brain Software. Plus, we share a jaw-dropping transformation from one of our students, and why taking ownership of your emotions could be the ultimate life hack. Listen now and start rewriting your story.

Introduction

Being at Cause vs. Being at Effect - This foundational NLP concept explores the difference between creating your life (being at cause) and reacting to it (being at effect). The episode urges listeners to stop blaming others and environments for their emotional state and instead take control of their responses and decisions.

The Principle of Autonomy - Inspired by Michael Pantalon’s book Instant Influence, this concept highlights the importance of owning your decisions and internal states. Autonomy is not just independence—it’s responsibility.

In this episode, Lena, a longtime listener and student, shares her real-life journey from depressed, isolated, and physically disabled to becoming a thriving NLP and life coach, reconnecting with her daughter, building a business, and winning MMHA’s “My Life in Two Years” contest. Her story embodies the “from stuck to unstoppable” transformation and perfectly illustrates the impact of NLP and hypnosis when combined with consistency and ownership.

1. Triggered Culture & Microaggressions 

• Rants (peppered with humor) about the modern tendency to get offended by everything.
• The absurdity of microaggressions and the dangers of losing free speech.
• Key Insight: If it’s micro, maybe it’s not worth getting upset over.
• Reminder: Emotions are personal, not a universal truth. Don’t outsource your peace of mind.

2. Being at Cause vs. Being at Effect

• The metaphor of being the author of your story vs. being written by someone else.
• Referenced Robert Dilts’ Logical Levels: Environment is lowest; real change starts when you go higher.
• You can’t change your environment easily, but you can change your internal responses.

3. Lena’s Story.

Major plotline of the episode. Her transformation includes:

• Overcoming trauma, disability, and emotional pain.
• Launching a successful coaching business.
• Reuniting with her daughter.
• Emphasis on how hypnosis and NLP tools created both emotional and behavioral change.

Click here to read the full article about Lena's story.

4. Open Loops & People Thinking Differently 

• The psychological tension of unresolved issues (Zeigarnik effect).
• People vary: some need closure, others tolerate (or create) unresolved loops.
• Practical Tips:
  • Use empathy (second position) or third position (fair witness) to depersonalize.
  • Ask: “What do you need to hear from me so we can move forward?”
  • Write down open loops to resolve them one at a time.

5. Conflict Management: The 5-Second Rule 

• When emotions run high, mentally count to five (Kodak-style) before replying.
• This pause reduces adrenaline and prevents knee-jerk reactions.
• Helps avoid escalating arguments and builds trust.

Empowering Question 

How will I change my behavior and even my beliefs in a useful way when something I hear makes me feel bad? And what steps will I take to sidestep hurt feelings and communicate more effectively—starting today?