Communicating well, when the other person doesn’t! – Brain Software Podcast (Ep 248)

Can nobody communicate properly anymore? We can. And so can you!

Watch the Episode:

Introduction for Episode 248

Why can't people say what they mean? We don't know, but we can fix it...

Welcome to Level 42 with Dave Ambrose and Timothy Leary!

And...let's communicate, because...

THESE ARE DAYS OF VICTORY!!!

Think Tank Words for This Episode

  1. CONSTELLATION
  2. MAGNITUDE
  3. INVISIBILITY

Show Notes for Episode 248

  • You need the Jedi questions:
    • How did you come to believe that?
    • How do you know it's true?
  • General rule: Don't interrupt. Wait for a pause and then comment.
  • We refuse to stop interrupting each other, so deal with it!
  • Don't interrupt when disagreeing with someone...
  • Don't finish people's sentences!
  • Passive aggressives feel weak and push people's buttons...
  • They are angry!
  • Ask questions to draw people out...
  • Some people are just negative!
  • Exaggerate the negativity...
  • Refocus their brain on the potential positives!
  • Are you glad in a really weird kind of way?
  • Some people love drama! Not us...
  • If enneagram fours feel great; the universe is a great place...
  • Watch out for topic changes and point them out!
  • Chronic complainers are unpleasant to be around. Use the Meta Model...
  • Catastrophizers make extreme predictions!
  • Stay calm when people freak out!
  • Politely assert your need to finish your point...
  • Mockers take you down in front of other people!
  • "Someone's dealing with some personal issues..."
  • Gaslighting is evil! Inlist allies you can trust! Carefully track and document conversations...
  • Narcissism always put themselves in the spotlight! Beware the endless self-references!
  • Don't provide narcissistic supply!
  • Control freaks! They jump in and attempt to take over...
  • Not my circus, not my monkeys...
  • Don't let other people's problems become your problems!
  • Beward dickish manipulators! 
  • Don't violate your own desired outcome!
  • What about perpetual victims? Mike dealt with lots of them, but not people who made victimhood a role they constantly play.
  • Get out of Identity, and back into Behaviour...
  • Not "I am a scapegoat" but "I WAS scapegoated"
  • Listen openly to critical people. They might be right...
  • "Hey ADD boy...over here!" - Mike Mandel
  • "You cut your own hair...and you make your own clothes..." - Mike Mandel
  • Simplify messages when people are zoning out...
  • Do not accept unwarranted blame!
  • Beware of topic changes!
  • Some people are competitive to the point of being dickish. Collaboration works best for everyone.
  • Often it's best to say absolutely nothing...
  • Unreliable people need to be called to task! Review the discussion points with them...
  • We always raise the bar to make things better!
  • Non-calibrators miss the signals! Always Be Calibrating! A...B...C...
  • Break people's pattern by answering a non-existent phone call...
  • Don't criticise defensive people who take things personally...
  • Not "I heard YOU say..." but "I heard it as..."
  • Shotgun thinkers change topics and jump around...
  • Keep them ontrack! Make notes to keep things on topic...
  • Shotgun thinkers change the topic when they're losing a discussion!
  • Be relentless in systematically bringing people back to the point!

Empowering Question: Which of these types sound like people I have to deal with...and how will I apply stellar communication skills to keep things ontrack?

Metafive: The dentist keynote speaker in Chicago

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