The Secret to Having Thick Skin

Tired of letting other people's negativity get to you? Here’s how to remain unstoppable.

We’ve all been there—pouring our heart and soul into something we care about, only to have someone throw a negative comment our way. In the past, these things might have really gotten under your skin, leaving you frustrated or even doubting yourself. But what if they didn’t have to? What if you could develop a kind of emotional armor that keeps you focused on your goals, no matter what anyone says?

That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today. We’re going to discuss how to build resilience so that you can keep moving forward, no matter what life—or other people—throw your way.

Understanding "Thick Skin"

Having "thick skin" is a common metaphor (maybe even a little bit of a cliché) for being emotionally resilient—able to handle criticism, negativity, or even outright insults without letting them drag you down; like having a protective layer that lets you brush off the small stuff so you can stay focused on what really matters.

But why is this so important? Imagine you’ve just started a new hobby or a creative project. You’re excited, full of ideas, and then someone—maybe even with good intentions—tells you it’s not worth your time. Without thick skin, that comment might make you second-guess yourself or, worse, give up altogether. But with the right mindset, you can take that comment in stride and keep pushing forward.

In essence, thick skin allows you to pursue your goals and dreams with confidence, unbothered by the naysayers. And who knows? That hobby or project you’re working on might just turn out to be something amazing. So let’s dive into how you can start developing this resilience, starting today.

Strategies for Developing Thick Skin

Building thick skin isn’t something that happens overnight, but with a few practical strategies, you can start to strengthen your emotional resilience. Here are three powerful techniques to help you stay focused and unshaken, no matter what life throws your way.

A. Embrace Curiosity Over Emotion

One of the best ways to avoid letting negativity get under your skin is to shift your mindset from reacting emotionally to responding with curiosity. When someone criticizes you or throws an insult your way, instead of letting it sting, think, "Hmm, that’s interesting." By doing this, you’re essentially turning the tables—you’re no longer the target of their negativity; instead, you’re an observer who’s intrigued by why they said what they did.

This approach not only diffuses the emotional impact but also gives you a moment to pause and reflect. You might even find it amusing or enlightening to see things from their perspective. Over time, this habit of embracing curiosity will help you remain calm and composed, even in the face of harsh words.

B. Dissociation: The Fair Witness Position

Another powerful strategy comes from the world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). It’s called the Fair Witness Position, inspired by a concept from the novel Stranger in a Strange Land. The idea is to mentally step back and observe a situation as if you were an impartial witness. Instead of being emotionally involved, you’re simply gathering data—looking at what’s happening without letting it affect you personally.

To use this, imagine watching yourself and the other person from a distance, as though you’re both characters in a movie. The more you can detach from the emotional side of things, the less impact their words will have on you. It’s like watching a scene play out rather than being in the thick of it, which makes it much easier to stay level-headed and unaffected.

C. Using Anchors to Maintain Emotional Distance

Let’s dive into the concept of anchors, a powerful tool from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) that can help you maintain emotional distance when faced with negativity. An anchor is essentially a trigger—a specific action, word, or gesture—that you associate with a particular emotional state. But here’s the key: for an anchor to be effective, it needs to be created while you’re in a positive, resourceful state.

Imagine a moment when you felt truly calm, confident, or curious—maybe it was a time when you were completely at ease or handled a difficult situation with grace. While you're fully immersed in that positive state, you can create an anchor by performing a simple action, like pressing your thumb and forefinger together or taking a deep, slow breath. This action becomes linked to that resourceful state.

By activating your anchor, whether it’s a physical gesture or a mental cue, you remind yourself of your ability to stay composed and curious, no matter what’s happening around you. Over time, as you consistently use this anchor, it becomes a reliable tool that helps you maintain emotional distance. Remember, the more you practice anchoring in a resourceful state, the more powerful it becomes, making it easier to stay grounded and unshaken in the face of challenges.

These strategies—embracing curiosity, practicing dissociation, and using anchors—are all about putting a little distance between yourself and the negativity that might come your way. With a bit of practice, you’ll find that you’re much better equipped to handle criticism and stay on track toward your goals. So why not give them a try and see how they work for you?

Practice Makes Perfect

Like any new skill, developing thick skin takes a bit of practice. The first time you try these strategies, it might feel a little awkward or even challenging. But don’t worry; the more you practice, the more natural these techniques will become.

Think of it like building muscle. Each time you apply these strategies, you’re strengthening your emotional resilience. Over time, you’ll find it easier to brush off negativity and stay focused on what really matters to you. And remember, it’s okay if you don’t get it perfect right away. Every small step you take is progress, so be patient with yourself as you grow into this new mindset.

What’s Next?

Now that you’ve got these tools in your toolkit, it’s time to put them into action! The next time someone’s words start to get under your skin, use any of these strategies and see how it changes your reaction.

If you’re eager to continue this journey and want more support and resources, feel free to join our community!

• Join our free Facebook group "Brain Software": Connect with like-minded individuals, share your experiences, and get tips from experts to help you along the way. It’s a great place to find support and encouragement.

• Sign up for a free Test Drive at MMHA: Curious about how hypnosis can further enhance your personal growth? Take a free Test Drive at the Mike Mandel Hypnosis Academy. You’ll get a taste of the amazing tools and techniques that can help you unlock your full potential.

Thanks for reading and we’ll see you inside!